New Jesus

I met him outside the library around three
On a Thursday afternoon in late January
He was stoppin’ folk to spread the word
He said he’d been chosen and had I herd
The world would end in 2003
On March 24th at 6.15pm GMT 

He looked back and forth for prying eyes
And whispered, “You looked like the kind of guy I can confide
You see Jesus gives me a signs
He’s speaks to me after closedown on channel nine
I can pick up the Buddha when the Moon is full
But Mohammed is still giving me some trouble”

“See son, things aren’t all they seem,
There’s people in power plotting a secret scheme
The Queen Mother isn’t as innocent as she looks
She’s a shape shifting reptile with a taste for blood
A cross bred genetically engineered wacko
Straight from the constellation of draco

 He said he knew the cure for every disease
Said it came to him in his dreams
Vinegar is the key
To heath and prosperity
Drink six pints of the stuff every day
And you won’t need to waste time having to pray

 He reckoned there’s this group called the Galactic Federation
Waiting up there to save us from damnation
Parked up on the dark side of the moon
Ready to save us mortals from certain doom
They can cocoon us within a hyper-dimensional sub-space shield
That’s If were willing to strike up a deal

 Told me he’d faxed the president
And e-mailed the prime minister
But hadn’t had a reply cause things were obviously sinister
The secret Government intercepted his mail
His house was bugged and he had these implants
So they could follow his trail

 Said he was looking for folk to dedicate their life
Said I’d have to leave my kids and wife
He said I’d already know that this was my path
And that people in my face would laugh
But there were folk on the other side
Who were looking out for my behind

 He didn’t tell me his name
Said it was better  I didn’t know
Then he handed me a flyer
With nothing on except the words GO
He said be careful there are some strange en’s around
Then disappeared into a passing crowd


Written Feb 2003
Copyright Nicholas Treadwell 2003